Dancing with the Stars

The final episode of the 19th season of Dancing with the Stars came to a thrilling conclusion last night, when celebrity garbage collector Wai Pupmepu and partner Nerida Betham narrowly defeated former PM Helen Clarke and dancer Hayley Holt.

Clarke, who appeared distracted during the final by rumours of her romantic entanglement with judge Paul Bicurio, slipped twice during the Foxtrot and almost dropped Haley in the spectacular finish to their Tango.

Judges Brendan Cool and Craig Uphill-Gardner clashed several times in the show, most notably when scoring Helen Clarke’s freestyle routine. “Darrrrrling, it reminded me of a broken wheelbarrow race”, said Craig, but Brendan told viewers “I loved it, it was exactly what freestyle would be, ignore Craig, he’s menopausal”.

It was a memorable night for perennial host Jason Gunn, hosting his 150th episode of Dancing with the Stars (he missed two whilst suffering a reaction to his leg implants in series 6) and as usual his cheeky grin, boyish demeanour and constant on-camera presence enabled him to steal the show. Co-host Nosecandy Line, however, did nothing to assuage the rumours she is back on the bottle, failing to read the autocue correctly with monotonous regularity (something long time viewers will be used to) and twice forgetting to bend her knees so that she looked smaller than Jason. She did delight her fans, however by revealing that she will undergo her 7th boob job before the next series.

Despite complaints that the Stars were weaker this year than before, producers of the show are planning to press ahead with a 20th season, and have promised a fresh judging line up. Insider say this means that Alison Leopard will be sacked and replaced by Nosecandy Line, whilst Nosecandy will be replaced as co-host by someone significantly shorter and with good reading skills.