Death from a thousand cuts

With one week to go until the election, Prime Minister Helen Clock has announced she will be removing income tax altogether.

Speaking on the Wiggles Election Special, she announced the change after learning that she had been misinformed by Treasury for the past 12 years over the role on income tax.

“I was always under the impression that income tax was a big earner for the government, but since the brain drain got out of control, and mass emigration to Australia has reduced the population to 177, I gather we make a great deal more from the Reserve Bank punting on the Forex markets”, she told the Yellow Wiggle.

Cynics, led by opposition leader Don Key, have been quick to accuse the PM of attempting to curry favour with voters, and Mrs Clock reluctantly acknowledged that there might be some truth in her words.

“The honourable member has been in politics, and in opposition long enough to know how low I will stoop to win”, she responded. Those who have remained in NZ are generally 5 cans short of a six pack and are likely to take the removal of income tax, and any spurious reasons I cook up to make it look credible, at face value and vote for me”.

National were quick to respond with a new policy announcement of the introduction of reverse income tax – the more you earn, the more the government pay you, but with all 177 Kiwis on full benefit, political commentators felt it was unlikely to prevent Mrs Clock achieving a record 9th term.

In other news, Winston Cheaters, the deputy PM, has been arrested in Fiji as part of a thwarted attempt to assassinate Military Leader Frank Bananarama